Mary Sue was visiting the big city for the first time. She checks into her hotel and the bellboy takes her bags. She follows the boy, and as the door closes, she looks around and shakes her fist at him.

    "Young man -- I may be old and straight from the hills, but that don't mean I'm stupid! I paid *good* money and this room won't do at ALL! It's too small, there's no ventilation, no TV -- there's not even a BED!"

    "Ma'am, this is the elevator."